Friday, February 21, 2020

Pokémon Design Ranking, Generation 7

I'm going backwards this time, like I have with other things, so this time I'm reviewing Generation 7 Pokémon designs, the generation of the last main Pokémon game I bought as things are now. Since I'm more familiar with the designs from here on back, this may go more smoothly as I've seen these monsters up to a lot of things by now. This may count as spoilers for Sun and Moon and consequently ULTRA Sun and Moon but whether you're wanting to go into this blind or knowing is up to you.

I'm using a ranking scale of 1-5, with higher as better. 5 is a top favorite, 3 is average, 1 is something I loathe.

First, the starters.

Rowlet: 5/5
Round owl. Complete with leafy bow tie. It's too cute. Some might even refuse to evolve it because it's just too cute. Even its tilty and curious expressions.
Dartrix: 4/5
A silly fancy owl, taller now. Complete with some kind of fancy hair thingy and still with the bow tie of leaves. It can get some silly expressions as well.
Decidueye: 4/5
A tall owl with fuzzy feet and it's still a bit cute despite it aiming to be really hardcore. It's a hooded archer with a cloak.
Litten: 3/5
It's a cat. Hello cat. Pet the kitty. Nice kitty.
Torracat: 3/5
Now the cat is bigger and looks more like a tiger. Hello cat tiger.
Incineroar: 3/5
Now the cat is a lot bigger and buffer and looks like it'd be Fire/Fighting but of course they're apparently not allowed to do that anymore, yet they can still design them as if they would be. It's a wrestler. See if it'll still do cat things though.
Popplio: 4/5
A cute clown seal. It can be a lot of fun. It also has a giant nose to boop.
Brionne: 3/5
The clown seal became frilly. Still cute though.
Primarina: 4/5
Now really elegant and even feminine in design. I'm fine with this type of design being on male specimens as well, I mean if the likes of Incineroar can be female, why not. So pretty and so cute.

Then, the bird, rodent, and bug.

Pikipek: 4/5
Cute baby small bird. With how I played through Alola though, I pretty much forgot the bird line existed.
Trumbeak: 3/5
Larger bird. I really don't have much to say other than the bird is larger now.
Toucannon: 3/5
An eternally angry toucan that can apparently have its beak become hot and also a gun.
Yungoos: 3/5
An angry weasel. It's just so angry. With a big yellow stripe.
Gumshoos: 3/5
This standing up weasel has weird hair and was compared to someone else with bad hair that rose to power around when the game came out. Gumshoos itself though is just pretty normal, and has the better hair. Supposedly it's a detective, but I'd probably sooner trust a Pikachu to do so.
Grubbin: 3/5
It's a grub nubbin. Therefore Grubbin. A cute pinchy.
Charjabug: 4/5
Beep beep. All aboard the BUG BUS. It's a cute cube that actually makes something closer to accordion noises for some reason. Therefore, accordion bus.
Vikavolt: 3/5
A spiky angry bug, sure. Sort of reminds me of a previous Mega.

And now most of the rest.

Crabrawler: 3/5
A fisty crab that keeps looking like its face got messed up in a fight. It's weirdly Easter colors.
Crabominable: 3/5
The crab became hairy and somehow a yeti complete with paw pads on its fist claws. This doesn't make a lot of sense aside from how there are fuzzy-looking crabs.
Oricorio: 3/5
A dancing bird that comes in four types. There's various cultural dances plus cheerleading.
Cutiefly: 5/5
IT'S SO TINY. I love this tiny squeaky bug. It really is its name.
Ribombee: 4/5
Still cute, now more grown and very much a fairy with a ribbon.
Rockruff: 3/5
Cute rocky puppy. Looks like it has tiny barks and big attitude. Generally, dogs are cute.
Lycanroc: 3/5
This dog comes in three forms. Two are very similar and are on all fours, they just look like wolfy dogs. However, the third one stands up and is sinister-looking, like a werewolf or demon thing. At least it's different, but seems to not be a big favorite because the other two forms are wolfy dogs. I kinda end up liking the tall angry one a little more since it's different, but not by a whole lot.
Wishiwashi: 4/5
This fish comes in two forms, one as itself and one as many other fish. It goes from tiny and sad to giant and mad. I grew to like this one on my playthough, it's very cute, and all of its schooling friends too.
Mareanie: 3/5
Some kind of crusty grandma demon from the deep, but it's a baby form of one.
Toxapex: 3/5
A tiny tissue ghost demon that brings its own tent as a super starfish thing. Once you get to the inner shell it's kinda cute.
Mudbray: 3/5
It's DONKEH. I'M MAKING WAFFLES. Pet this donkey.
Mudsdale: 2/5
A dorky-looking horse with so much hair all over it so it seems greasy but not, so I guess that's just mud in its hairs. I always find horses weird.
Dewpider: 3/5
I guess this is a space alien with a space helmet, except just a weird water bug.
Araquanid: 3/5
A space spider demon, still with the space water helmet bubble. Looks somewhat microscopic but it's giant so that's probably going to scare someone.
Fomantis: 4/5
A cute baby with stubby leaf blade arms. Just looks like it needs a hug.
Lurantis: 5/5
This is why I had two Grass-types on my Alola team. It's the fancy pants plant mantis. So cute and fancy and adorable, also looking shy and excitable from how it keeps posing.
Morelull: 3/5
A small cute mushroom... flower bulb... thing. I don't find much to laugh about with this monster though.
Shiinotic: 3/5
This is some kind of possessed skeletal Toad. So naturally it's going to go HEEEAAAAUGGHH, AAAAAUUUUUUEGGGGHH, and other things that can only be described as Toad noises.
Salandit: 3/5
A cute sneaky lizard. Very much a lizard. Gecko-like with its feet.
Salazzle: 4/5
Sexy lizard. Pretty sure intentionally designed that way. Definitely has legs, but also has jazz hands sometimes. It's taller and slappier and looks like it has a dress or swimsuit on of some kind.
Stufful: 4/5
A squeaky plush-looking monster that's somehow not quite that, even though it has a butt tag. Very strange, and has an odd happy face, but also very cute.
Bewear: 4/5
Big cuddly bear that is also just a bear and brutally strong so cuddling is risky. Also pink.
Bounsweet: 3/5
A happy-looking bouncing cute fruit that's internally screaming and running in terror.
Steenee: 3/5
The fruit is now the size and shape of a small girl because of course it is.
Tsareena: 4/5
Dominatrix fruit. That about sums it up. They still come up with these designs in which you wonder how far they're leaning toward the older fanbase, as well as the group in which appreciates certain "fine arts". The design itself, though, interesting and would be a painful step attack given surface area versus pressure and so on.
Comfey: 3/5
A cute ring of flowers that somehow heals. Possibly related to old thoughts about driving away disease with flowers to clear "bad humours" and all that stuff. It certainly hasn't driven away the bad humor of puns however, pretty core to the naming scheme in general.
Oranguru: 3/5
A grumpy looking gorilla type. Looks like it doesn't want to be bothered with its cape and fan and stuff.
Passimian: 3/5
A lemur that throws melons. It shoots and scores or maybe it goes bowling, there's a lot that could be done with a melon. Unless it breaks, then just eat it.
Wimpod: 3/5
A wimpy pod. It's a sad-looking isopod that runs off. Isopods are pretty cool though.
Golisopod: 3/5
A big bug monster complete with monster claws, pretty neat.
Sandygast: 3/5
A pile of sand with a big gaping mouth hole all the way through it. A shovel's stuck in its head but don't take it out.
Palossand: 3/5
A sand castle. That's about it. It's just possessed and has bendy towers. The shovel's still stuck in its head.
Pyukumuku: 5/5
The squishy sea potato. It's like a bunny lump. Somehow it can shoot out its guts in the form of a hand, which is more appealing than it sounds, because you could give it a high five or a handshake if it doesn't just punch you.
Type: Null: 3/5
A chimera sort of thing with a helmet stuck on and an anime as hell name. Interesting enough.
Silvally: 3/5
The helmet comes off and now it's a doggy. Still with chimera body of course. Also still has a weird head shape as if it's still wearing a helmet.
Minior: 3/5
A monster that comes in a lifeless-looking shell but then can break out of it, revealing the glowing center that comes in several colors, with a crazy happy face. Collect a few, maybe. Not quite M&Ms.
Komala: 3/5
A koala that's eternally sleeping and therefore they felt a coma pun was appropriate. Sleeps like a log on a log. Also koalas aren't really found in Hawaii so not sure why they brought over Australia.
Turtonator: 2/5
A bit of an ugly tortoise that can apparently explode its back. Just a bit weird and off and also sorta looks like a person in a shell costume with a tube nose.
Togedemaru: 4/5
A fat hedgehog ball of a Pikaclone. As a Pikaclone, it's cute. As a monster overall, still cute. It can also get spiky as needed.
Mimikyu: 5/5
The cute baby that wants to be loved, then everyone did. It's a good mix of the creepy and cute factors, a true form that nobody can witness if they want to not die, but still little peepholes in its costume to peek out of. This effectively means this generation got two Pikaclones and not just mostly color swaps either.
Bruxish: 2/5
This fish is ugly and looks punchable, and yet I don't dislike it as much as some monsters. I know it's based on the weird-looking fish from Hawaii, but the real thing looks better. The color scheme might work on something else, but this is just an ugly fish.
Drampa: 3/5
This dragon looks line an unfinished claymation. I am glad this didn't turn out to be Dunsparce's evolution, because it doesn't really fit at all. This coming from a series that had a fish become an octopus, but that's further back.
Dhelmise: 3/5
This is a bunch of stuff. An anchor stuck to a steering wheel and wrapped in seaweed and only has one working eye. I keep forgetting this one exists. I want to say underappreciated but I don't really feel strongly for it either. It's something that's forgotten in the depths of the seas and the Pokédex but I haven't seen much stand-out quality yet.

The "pseudo-Legendaries". I still don't really know what that means.

Jangmo-o: 3/5
A weird angry lizard kinda thing that has scales hanging off of it and a big one the shape of a heart on its head. But it's not a Heart Scale.
Hakamo-o: 3/5
The lizard thing is now taller. With more flappy scales.
Kommo-o: 3/5
This thing is practically made of flappy scales now. Also even longer.

Now the real Legendaries.

Tapu Koko: 4/5
CRAZY CHICKEN is here. Chicken man appears and will electrocute anything.
Tapu Lele: 3/5
Cute baby in a nutshell that will annihilate at no notice.
Tapu Bulu: 3/5
It likes to flex. It's the super strong buff one but is probably a very nice one to its friends.
Tapu Fini: 3/5
The elegant fish lady. This one is not to be messed with. By looks and power especially.
Cosmog: 4/5
So cute and won't stay in bags. It's like a cheerleader sort of Kirby character. Made of space and made of cute.
Cosmoem: 3/5
Space egg. It's an ULTRA dense space egg. Doesn't seem to do much though. But it's sleepy.
Solgaleo: 3/5
It's a big lion. Pretty cool but yes. Big lion is here. It's a space lion though. Kitty cat.
Lunala: 5/5
Moon bat. I love moon bat. It has cute little fangies and is a flappy bat circle. Can be nice to pet its shiny space head.

This time around, there are these monsters called Ultra Beasts, generally things that may not entirely be Pokémon but in the end still seem to count as such, as they're used as such. In the mix are Mythicals, and it sort of alternates a bit at the end because of the ULTRA Sun and Moon games releasing later with a slightly expanded Pokédex.

Nihilego: 4/5
This jellyfish is not made of Legos, but is a pretty neat monster overall. It even kinda looks like a girl with a hat and it's a parasite of some type too. So it's got a lot going for it.
Buzzwole: 3/5
Buff bug. That's pretty much it. This thing is definitely deserving of the "swole" suffix in its name. Punch buggy SUPLEX.
Pheromosa: 3/5
Pretty bug. So pretty it's its superpower. I find it pretty "normal pretty", though. Sure, elegant and stuff, but a very twiggy cockroach overall.
Xurkitree: 3/5
A weird cable mess made of cable ties and cables. Complete with anime hair up top.
Celesteela: 3/5
A missile monster made of rockets. This is pretty much the final boss of some JRPG probably.
Kartana: 5/5
A paper baby to not underestimate. Its whole face is a peeper and it's so cute and tiny, but petting it is unfortunately not recommended due to excessive paper cuts.
Guzzlord: 4/5
A big fat mouth monster with at least two faces and countless more mouths. It's like an eternal engine of devouring. Also it screams like some guy just going AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Necrozma: 3/5
A dark angular monster in its initial form, but it got three more forms in the ULTRA games, resembling the previous mascots as well as some kind of ULTRA SUPER SECRET MEGA FINAL TRUE ENDING INFINITY GOD BOSS form which gives Arceus a run for its existence. The very type of thing that would have a minimum attack animation length of 10 minutes as it creates and destroys a whole universe to shoot a laser all the way through its own universe just to hit all targets ever.
Magearna: 4/5
A cute bunny maid robot that's also part Poké Ball because of course it is. Sure combines a lot of cute potential well.
Marshadow: 4/5
What a cute soft marshmallow baby. Just there with its cute mittens and often a cute neutral expression on its face and becomes cutely malicious in an attack form where it can have cute little stubby fingers to cutely remove the spine of its opponents.
Poipole: 3/5
This monster is from whatever the Pokémon equivalent of Joisey is. It's a small demon that has squirty tubes on its head that can fire in spurts.
Naganadel: 3/5
I suspect this monster is still from Poké Joisey. Now it's got the MEGA BOOTY that can still fire in spurts through the tube stinger.
Stakataka: 3/5
Guardian from Breath of the Wild is here and made of bricks. And each might have its own mind, sort of. Or it's a hive mind thing. Either way, walking castle that has lasers probably.
Blacephalon: 4/5
Look at the clown. It's actually pretty cute once I realized where its eyes were and how it's able to express emotion. Weird tissue hands and noodly torso aside, it certainly has hips. Also its head just keeps exploding but it's fine.
Zeraora: 3/5
Zeraraaroroaraoraorooaeroaoraeoroaeroaeor is a cat. A zappy tiger. That's it. It's like cat Lucario kind of.

The last two here are an especially weird case because they were made available in a subsequent game not directly compatible with any previous Generation 7 stuff, the Let's Go games, in addition to a link with Pokémon GO. They're possibly transferrable to later games though to be used more traditionally.

Meltan: 3/5
Ditto Nut is here. It's cute and it's a little annoying to catch. But as far as the design, it's cute.
Melmetal: 3/5
MEGA DITTO NUT is here. It's still cute and it's incredibly annoying to evolve. But as far as the design, it's still cute. Now beefier.

Now we move on to the Alolan forms, which revisit older Pokémon, but only from Kanto for some probably nostalgia-focused reason.

Rattata: 3/5
Imagine a rat, but colored more like a regular rat might be, also it kinda has a mustache. That's this Alolan form.
Raticate: 4/5
Raticate became Faticate and now it's tons of chunky fun. Its chubby cheeks have even made its mouth not just always open all the time.
Raichu: 5/5
The soft baby. I love Raichu. Sort of spoilers for the Gen 1 list but I just love Raichu. And this is another way to love it. It's tied up with pancakes and looks the part. Also it's a surfer. This is such a precious form for an already precious monster.
Sandshrew: 4/5
A baby shrew becomes an igloo. That's cute. Sandshrew continues to be cute.
Sandslash: 4/5
Sandslash becomes spikier with shinier ice spikes and possibly fuzzier on the rest. Still a cute slashy pangolin overall.
Vulpix: 3/5
The fox has been recolored white and bluish mostly. That's really it here.
Ninetales: 3/5
The fox has not only been recolored bluish white, but now its hair got worse. It needs conditioner.
Diglett: 3/5
To quote Bobby Hill, IT'S GOT HAIR! Just a tiny bit though. Generally, though, it's pretty much the same.
Dugtrio: 3/5
This is taking the hair thing a little too far even. Now it's three times the luscious locks.
Meowth: 3/5
Before Meowth had a Galar form, it had an Alolan form. Now who's Game Freak's favorite? Still Kanto, of course. This cat is mostly darker and sassier.
Persian: 3/5
Persian, but everything went to its head and it turned blue. Inflated head Garfield is here. It's a bit too silly to be bad.
Geodude: 2/5
This meatball with arms has now grown eyebrows and IT'S GOT HAIR! But overall it's the same, and it's even lost fingers as if it started being rendered back on the N64.
Graveler: 2/5
This excessive meatball with too many limbs is going through puberty, covered in zits and hair everywhere.
Golem: 3/5
When I think of Hawaii, I naturally go to RUSSIA. This COMRADE has pretty much a cannon seat on its top in the like of one of those fur hats, plus enough facial hair to survive BRUTAL TUNDRA.
Grimer: 3/5
If Grimer wanted to be creepier, it's been achieved. For some reason it's got a really bright yellow lower lip in its green goop.
Muk: 3/5
Muk has been dropping acid in its crack and has got rainbow and rocks all over it. Supposedly it's like oil but it's really more just super rainbow mode.
Exeggutor: 3/5
Exeggutor has become ULTRA TALL. And it even has a silly kissy head on its tail.
Marowak: 4/5
This line is full of tragedy. A bit cooler for the flaming bone, or as some game might call it, the Hot Boner, but it becomes dead technically because ghosts got involved again.

Now for the statistics part.


From the look of things, I seem to have found a lot of the monsters in the average as far as design, but there's lean towards liking more of them, and I managed to not loathe any either. I take that as a sign I overall found this set of designs pretty nice.

And that is all of the rankings for Generation 7. I'll probably continue going backwards for these, so next would probably be Generation 6.

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